Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
