An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
