Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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