Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize