I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
