I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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