Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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