I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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