I need help removing her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
