Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
