hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
