So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
