meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize