Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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