That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
