There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
