I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think I just sharted jello shots
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