If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
