margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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