eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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