Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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