i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
