Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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