just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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