we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
