I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
