last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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