When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
