Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
