i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
