have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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