I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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