porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
