Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
