You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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