turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
