I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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