If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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