woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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