i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
