I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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