my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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