No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
