I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
