Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize