i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
