dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
