we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Houston, we have a blender
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
