Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
