Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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