i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Randomize
