I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
