Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
