i just had sex bonerless
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
