My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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