he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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