I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
