They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize