plz talk dirty to me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
