some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
