Me. At least after what I've been through.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
