you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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