And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
